I Will Find You Again by Sarah Lyu

Chase, 17, is an overachieving senior in Meadowlark who struggles with depression to the point that she’s suppressing memories. She misses her ex-best friend and girlfriend, Lia, and she’s confused about why they’re not together or talking anymore. Little by little, as she’s looking to understand, she discovers that she’s been through trauma. Chase also learns that she does need to rely on others and she needs their help and support. The truth will help her heal or completely break her. This story is a mystery tied into the trauma and overwhelming stress of two high school students, 4 stars!

Likes/dislikes: The unraveling of the mystery surrounding Chase and Lia is very interesting. The author includes a resource list for anyone needing help or knowing someone who needs help for suicide or mental health struggles. I appreciate Chase’s honesty and the sisterly bond she has with her younger sister.

Mature Content: PG-13 for underage prescription drug addiction (Focentra/Adderall), thoughts of suicide, lingering kiss, suicide by drowning.
Language: R for 43 swears and 84 f-bombs.
Violence: PG for suicide by drowning.
Ethnicity: The ethnicity is mixed with Korean, Italian American, White, Japanese, Vietnamese, Chinese, Taiwanese, Dutch and French.

The Girl in the Castle by Emily Raymond & James Patterson

The mystery kept me hooked!

Hannah is brought to the psychiatric hospital after being found screaming and half-dressed on the streets. She says she’s trying to save her family and friends by robbing the castle because the village people are starving. Then the timeline jumps back to the 1300’s, where Hannah is with those starving villagers, family and friends. The story continues to alternate between the present and the 1300’s while Hannah is in the psychiatric ward (present) and with her family in the village (1300’s). An intern, Jordan, finds Hannah fascinating and wants to help her heal after hearing her story and background. While Hannah is in the past, she’s captured along with her friends. Her friends are either hanged, stabbed or badly beaten but Hannah is spared by the Baron who is curious about her. While in the present, Hannah attends group meetings, therapy, meets new roommates, loses a fellow ward resident to suicide and builds a relationship with Jordan. While in the past, she is pampered in the castle, brings food to the villagers and has a relationship with the Baron. Jordan investigates as much as possible to discover Hannah’s past to see if trauma is at the root of her story. The mystery kept me hooked, 4 stars!

Mature content: PG-13 for vaguely detailed sex, mention of drugs, suicide and attempted suicide, self harm with razor blades
Violence: PG-13 for suicide, suggestion of rape, bleeding cuts, cut herself repeatedly with a spoon sharpened against a table leg, stealing and hanging
Language: R for 76 swears, 19 f-bombs
Ethnicities:
1300’s timeline- predominately white, present timeline-mixed ethnicity
Likes/dislikes: I liked the mystery surrounding the main character, Hannah. Was she experiencing time travel, hallucinations or trauma induced schizophrenia? I appreciate the author’s note at the end sharing experiences working at a psychiatric hospital and acknowledging that those experiences helped shape this book.

Tabitha’s Death by Jordan Elizabeth

Tabitha's Death

Love the cover!
Tabitha’s Death by Jordan Elizabeth. Author request. Tabitha feels like she’s lost everything and has nothing to live for. She slits her wrists after her best friend has died and her boyfriend uses her. She ends up in a sort of limbo, doing the bidding of the Gray Man. His tasks pile up and cause more torment and she begins to realize that she might never be freed from this. Tabitha meets several others who have ended their lives in different ways. They’re doing tasks for the Gray Man and other limbo creatures, trying to die and move on as they’ve been promised will happen when they’re finished with the creatures’ biddings. Tabitha was timid and submissive to everyone around her but she becomes a stronger person through her time in limbo. I enjoyed her character growth and was glad she was able to finally see her own worth. 4 stars!

The Astonishing Color of After by Emily X.R. Pan

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Family members left behind after a suicide face deep pain. Resources offering real help are included in this book! Thanks to NetGalley and Little, Brown Books for Young Readers for the opportunity to read and review The Astonishing Color of After! The main character saw her mother’s suicide and believes that her mother has visited her as a bird. No one believes her even though she has physical evidence. Her and her father visit her maternal grandparents in Taiwan and even though they don’t speak much English, they believe that the bird is true. This book is difficult to categorize into a genre, but even though it has supernatural happenings throughout the story, I feel that this is still, above all, a realistic fiction tale. The deep pain that survivors of suicidal family members face is a real problem and an intense struggle that hasn’t been addressed as much as it’s needed. The Astonishing Color of After helps! Resources are included towards the end of the book for various needs of those dealing with depression, loss, suicide and/or suicidal thoughts. The resources are categorized under the following headings: Suicide Prevention, For Suicide Loss Survivors and Understanding Mental Illness. The cultural education and coping skills made the story more interesting and I love Axel and the great friend that he is to Leigh and I appreciate the author’s honesty about her own experiences of being a suicide survivor. 4 stars!